Post Edited: This post was originally much longer and focused more on the negative than the positive. But this morning I had an epiphany when I woke up. While this post was cathartic when I wrote it yesterday, I feel like it has a different purpose now. I feel it needs to be more about what we learned because of what we’ve dealt with.
Yesterday this post allowed me to get out all I was feeling…to purge myself of the negativity within me. While I needed that yesterday, today is a different day, and my mindset has changed. I feel cleaner and lighter, as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I feel like we can move on to the next chapter in our lives with an open heart.
As you can see from the photo above, my son broke his collarbone this week. It occurred on Wednesday night while he was next door, playing at his friend’s house. His friend’s mom was about to walk my son home when he asked her if he could go down the slide one more time. She, of course, said yes, and waited at the bottom for him. He sat down on his bum but about 1/3 of the way down something happened and he began to roll. We figure his sneaker must have caught on the plastic and rolled him forward. The end result was him landing on his right shoulder on the ground. My neighbor scooped him up and cradled him in her lap while his friend came to get me.
When I walked into their yard I saw my son in her lap, and she was smoothing the hair from his face and giving him kisses on his head to calm him down. It made me feel good to know she was taking care of him while her son was getting me. That is what I hope any parent would do when a child gets hurt at their house. It is something I would do for any child in my care.
I called my boyfriend once we got back to the house and he rushed home to check on my son. While on the way home, he made the decision that no matter what we were going to the Emergency Room because it’s better to be safe than sorry. That decision was only solidified when he got home and felt my son’s shoulder. There was something wrong, and he could tell.
We brought my son to the ER and were there for several hours. During that time he had xrays done, which showed he clearly has a broken clavicle. What amazed me is how tough he is. I’ve seen his scream bloody murder when he falls and scrapes his knee. But a broken collarbone…sure, he cried, but not nearly as much as you would have expected him too. It was as though he tapped into a well of strength within him. Instead of the boy I typically see when he’s injured, I saw a stoic little man. And I could not have been more proud of him.
This week has taught my boyfriend and I some very valuable lessons. Ones I think we needed to learn.
- We know who our true friends are. Not all of those we thought were friends actually are.
- We know who we can turn to in times of need….who will have our back when problems and stressful situations arise. These people recognize that though Chris and I aren’t married on paper, we are in our hearts, and they respect that we consider ourselves stepparents and that with that title comes additional responsibilities.
- We know who can be trusted and who can’t.
- We know our true friends do not believe the lies or rumors they hear about us.
- We see that our children understand the lessons we’ve taught them about family coming first. They understood that we had to miss Open House because taking their brother to the ER was more important.
- We now understand more than ever that we are a team and it’s us against the world. We are our strongest supporters, and when times get tough, we are here for each other, to be the support that’s needed.
- I am a great stepmom. My boyfriend’s kids are just as important to me as my own, and I will do anything to help and protect them, as would my boyfriend for mine. His strength and love this week for my son only made me love him more.
- There are some people that will always take me for granted and will never appreciate what I do.
- Some people will never like me, even though I’m a good person.
I’m sure as time goes on, and I reflect on this week and all that occurred even more, most of which I’ve deleted because it’s just not worth mentioning again, I will be able to add to this list. Some lessons do not become clear until a while later.
Before I close I want to again thank everyone who showed concern for my son this week. You’re love and support has meant the world to Chris and I. We were incredibly touched by all the kind words we received from you, and it’s nice to now know who we can count on and who our true friends are. It’s the hard times like the ones we experienced this week that show us people’s true characters. Because of that, we saw what we needed to see this week. We are grateful for the lessons taught to us, and I now feel as though we can take another step in our life together.
Much love,
Nikki