We said goodbye to a beautiful soul last night #CancerSucks

Posted on Aug 21 2014 - 6:51pm by Nicole Smith

Sunday night, while perusing Facebook before bed, I came across an update on author and podcaster P.G. Holyfield that made my eyes fill with tears and made me question why life has to be so unfair.


Several weeks ago P.G. was diagnosed with a particularly vicious and fast-moving cancer…Cholangiocarcinoma. The cancer spread quickly and time seemed to speed up and many of us found out he didn’t have much time left just days before his passing. To say the news came as a shock would be an understatement.

Over the past few days we have left messages on his Facebook wall, sharing our memories of him and any other words we wanted him to read before he left us.

Some of us knew P.G. better than others. I, unfortunately, didn’t know him as well as many people did, but I still have my own P.G. memories, as few as there are.

And I do wish there were more. But life got in the way, and I stopped writing (creatively) for awhile and lost touch with many of the people, like P.G., that I had grown to admire and look up to.

Even though my memories are few, P.G. still left his mark on me, as he did so many, and I will never be the same person I was.

See, when he first messaged me a couple years ago, I had a total fangirl moment. I couldn’t believe someone that I looked up to, who I wished I could be as cool and talented as, was talking to me. Luckily, I contained myself and when I was asked to take part in a group Google Hangout chat session, I readily excepted, even though I knew I was joining a group of people that I viewed the same way as P.G.

How could I possibly take part when I was surrounded by such immense talent?

But the thing was, P.G. and the others never made me feel like I was second best. They didn’t make me feel like an outsider, like I often felt in high school. They made me feel like a part of the group. I felt accepted and respected, and I can’t thank any of them enough for that.

Because so many of us were so touched by the person P.G. was, many of us donated to his GoFundMe page created to help make his last few weeks comfortable, as well as to help provide for his children. Unfortunately, P.G. didn’t have weeks left, as we all soon found out.

Last night at 11:20, P.G. left this world and moved onto the next. I was getting ready for bed when I saw the update in my email, and I burst into tears. My husband sat up and held me as I cried and again questioned why good people are always taken from us far sooner than they should be…when there’s still so much they could do for this world.

I don’t understand how the good ones have to go but the bad ones get to stay. That’s a question no one can answer. At least not with an answer that’s suitable to me.

Today, I’ve continued to read the outpouring of support and love on P.G.’s Facebook post and am in awe of the legacy he left behind. Though he’s no longer a part of the physical plane, we each carry a piece of his light within us, and his memory will live on within all of us, his family included. And I’m glad that in his final days he was surrounded by those closest to him. They are heroes to all of us, and my love and prayers go out to all of them, especially his children, who must now navigate this world without him.

Though you may not know P.G., I’m hoping you’ll read up on him and see why we all feel the loss of him so profoundly and maybe you’ll donate to his GoFundMe page, listen to his podcast of The Murder on Avedon Hill or purchase one his stories.

Before I close this post, I want to leave you with a couple more thoughts.

Life is short and fleeting and we must appreciate every single moment we are given.

Never take for granted those you care about…who inspire you.

Make sure they know how you feel. Do not leave words unspoken or you may end up regetting it.

Love with all your heart and take time to recognize and appreciate all the little things in life you normally take for granted.

4 Comments so far. Feel free to join this conversation.

  1. Athena August 21, 2014 at 7:21 pm - Reply

    I am so sorry Nicole. He sounds like a great person and sadly life can be so harsh sometimes. And I will definitely be looking him up – helping to keep his legacy going.
    Athena recently posted..#PhantomFit Resistance BandsMy Profile

    • Nicole Smith August 21, 2014 at 7:23 pm - Reply

      Thanks, Athena. He was truly one of the greats. No one has a single bad thing to say about him. He was a kind, gentle, compassionate, helpful, funny, intelligent, creative soul. A true class act.

  2. Everyday Living with Chrys August 21, 2014 at 10:18 pm - Reply

    Cancer does suck. It has taken way too many people I love and cherish over the years. Sorry for your loss.
    Everyday Living with Chrys recently posted..Miracle Marathon to Support Beaumont Children’s Hospital, DetroitMy Profile

    • Nicole Smith August 23, 2014 at 8:30 pm - Reply

      Same here. It’s taken too many lives. And it’s my biggest fear. I’m afraid one day it will be me.

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