For the past two months I have been dreading this coming weekend. Most of the time I’ve been able to ignore the growing anxiety within me but now that the weekend is almost here, I can’t ignore it anymore. My babies are leaving for nine days and will be five hours away in a completely different state.
And during that entire time they’re gone, it’s going to feel like a part of me is missing. I’m going to miss their voices…their laughter. Their smiles. Even their arguing over stupid things they shouldn’t be arguing over.
Five hours may not seem like a lot to some people, but it’s light years away when your child gets hurt. And I know if something were to happen to either of my kids, I would have a hard time remaining sane on the way to them. The thought of that terrifies me, and I pray the entire time they’re gone that they’ll be okay.
>I know some may criticize me, and others like me, and say we’re too attached to our children because the thought of being without them for that long hurts. And you know what? So be it. Criticize away. I love my kids and I’m not a bad parent for missing them…for wanting to talk to them every day, even if it’s only through text. I want them to know that even if they aren’t here with me physically, they are with me in my thoughts.
And I know next week, those thoughts are going to overwhelm me, and I’m going to wish they were home. Yes, I have a ton of work to do, but it’s not enough to distract me from the fact my children aren’t home. Luckily on Monday we have plans with my boyfriend’s father and on Tuesday I’m going to go see my mom and brother for the day. But after that…what to do I do? What can I do to ease the hurt?
Seriously, if any of you have suggestions please share them.
As for those of you who can’t see your kids because the other parent is alienating you, my heart goes out to you. I don’t know how you do it. You are far stronger than me.