Life on the Spectrum: I Suspected He had Autism for a Long Time #autism #autismawarenessmonth

From the moment I felt my son move inside me for the first time, I knew life would be different with him in it. Not just because he was my second child and life would become busier with another kid to raise, but I had a feeling my world was going to change in ways I never anticipated. I had no idea what those changes would be. You can call it mother’s intuition if you’d like. (Hell, with both my kids I knew their sex my babies before the doctor told me. I knew it with absolute certainty.)

I faced several complications during my pregnancy with him. I had early pregnancy bleeding that was not implantation bleeding. I started leaking amniotic fluid at around 17 weeks, and was told if the leaking continued he would not survive. There was even talk of terminating the pregnancy. (Not on my end, mind you. I was bound and determined that would not happen.)

Then I got an infection, which wasn’t fun. Then my kidneys started acting up, and I dealt with extreme pain. Because of it, I decided to get induced as soon as we hit 38 weeks because the pain had grown to be too much to bear and it was causing me stress which was affecting him.

Well, my son had different plans and came two days before my induction date. I noticed my contractions right around dinner time and decided to go to the hospital. We were convinced, though, that it was just false labor again, so imagine my surprise when they told me it was real. They figured I wouldn’t have him until 5am or later the next morning. Again, that little guy had other plans and my labor went fast and I had him right around 2:30 that next morning. Like his sister, I didn’t have to push for long and he was out.

Also, I never felt much movement during the day with him, but when night rolled around, he did somersaults inside of me. His favorite thing to do was grind his head into my bladder. That was fun to deal with.

Once we brought him home, his night owl nature continued. I didn’t get a lot of sleep. No one does when they have a new baby. But I was pretty much operating on none.

He had issues with latching on so I had to use a rubber piece to help him, which still didn’t work as well as it should have.

I also had issues producing enough milk because he wanted to eat every hour. I had to switch to formula because even with medication to increase my production, I couldn’t make enough. Plus, he was having tummy issues. We soon found out he had a dairy intolerance. That meant soy formula.

I hoped with everything in me that once we switched to formula, he would start sleeping through the night. Nope. My son continued to march to the beat of his own dream. And he’s continued do so.

My son has had issues sleeping through the night since he was born. He actually has to take Melatonin now to help him sleep. There are many nights, though, that he wakes up and has a hard time going back to sleep. There are other nights he has an extremely hard time falling asleep. And it’s rough on him. It’s even worse when he has night terrors.

In addition to his odd sleep habits, my son was also very content with laying on his Boppy pillow, playing with his toys all by himself. He didn’t mind being held, and was a cuddly little guy, but it never bothered him to lay beside me, chattering away to no one in particular.

And once he could line things up, we would find his Thomas trains all in a row. Or his cars. And if you moved one, all hell would break loose.

He was also not very big on eye contact and still isn’t. More often than not his eyes dart all over the place, which makes it seem like he’s not listening, which most of the time is not the case.

He has a hard time socializing and often comes across as quirky, weird and awkward.

He also doesn’t always understand people’s emotions or even his own, for that matter. If you ask him to describe what he’s feeling or what others feel, he oftentimes can’t tell you.

The list goes on and on.

ADHD  and Autism Diagnosis

His pediatrician at the time diagnosed him with ADHD at an early age. She first mentioned autism to us as a possibility, but after we filled out the form she gave us, she told us he didn’t have it and diagnosed him with ADHD instead. He was three or four at the time.

I wasn’t the only one noticing he was different. We had others tell us they thought he might be too, but it took us until the end of 2016 to get someone to listen. Thanks to his current pediatrician, his therapist at the time and her boss, they decided a referral to a neurologist was in order. We went into that appointment fully expecting an autism diagnosis. And we got one. What we didn’t expect was his other diagnoses. (You can read more about them here.)

Now that we know my son has it for certain, it has helped us understand him more. I have done a lot of research. I’ve connected with other autism parents. There’s a whole community of us celebrating our children. We don’t see our kids as less than perfect. We don’t see them as less at all. We see they are different and that’s okay. We love them for who they are. We see past the label. We see that they have these amazing qualities that some people overlook because all they see is their quirks. Quirks that we celebrate and appreciate but that others don’t. Our lives are richer and more beautiful because of our children.