I want to wish all of you fathers and stepfathers out there a happy Father’s Day.
I also want to take a moment and acknowledge three men today.
My dad and I have had our share of ups and downs over the years. I have tested his patience and made him scratch his head in bewilderment and frustration. I have made him sick with worry and cry. He and I have butted heads more times than I can count because we are so much alike and oftentimes don’t like to admit when we’re wrong. And yet, my father has continued to love me and believe in me, even when I know I didn’t deserve it. (Thank you, Dad.) And I can honestly say it’s because of him and my mom that I work as hard as I do and push myself. I had the two greatest role models growing up who taught me so much, and there lessons are ones I will never forget, and they are ones I’m teaching my own children.
My dad helped created many memories over the years that I know my brother and I will never forget, from helping us get the snowmobile off the stonewall, to fishing, to building snowforts and snowmen, to taking hikes in the woods, to my dad telling me how proud he was of me after watching me give birth to my oldest. These are memories that still make me smile after all this time.
Thank you, Dad. I love you.
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Another man I have to acknowledge today is my boyfriend. He is one of the hardest working fathers I have ever had the privilege of knowing in my life. He knows the meaning of sacrifice and practices it every day. He works hard to give his kids all that he can, and that often means going without. Sometimes it means he has to miss sporting events, dance competitions, award ceremonies, etc. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be there because he does. But he knows he has to work so he can continue to feed and clothe his kids, put a roof over their heads and pay child support. You will never see him not do those things.
In addition to loving and taking care of his own children, he has opened his arms and heart to my two. He has gone above and beyond the call of duty, at times, to do things for my children. When my son did not have flooring in his bedroom, he came over on his days off to help me put flooring down. He went and bought my son a mattress when he didn’t have one so he could sleep in his own room. Just the other day he went into work a little late so he could watch my daughter because she was sick so I could go to my son’s Kindergarten Celebration. He has held my son during the middle of the night when he woke up puking and laid him on his chest when he woke up from a nightmare, scared and in need of reassurance.
My boyfriend does not treat my kids any differently than he does his own children. He loves and disciplines mine just like his own. And he teaches them same lessons. I rest easier knowing I have someone in my life who will do anything in his power to help my children.
I love you, Chris.
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And last but not least, I have to thank my ex-husband and wish him a happy Father’s Day. We have had our share of problems, but we both are in a place where we can admit our faults. That hasn’t always been the case, and I’m glad we have reached that point because we can only grow from here.
He and I are friends now and are able to care for our children without angry words. If he needs to talk about something, I am here for him and he for me. While some don’t agree with the choice we made to get divorced, we can say now that we are better because of it. We weren’t meant to stay married, but we were meant to have our children. And there’s not a day that goes by that I regret the time we had together because it gave us those two beautiful, intelligent children.
Though my ex and I have had our share of issues, I can’t say he’s not a hardworker, because he is. I’ve seen him put 70-80 hour weeks at work, if not more. He is providing for his children and giving them another home, instead of just one. I appreciate what he’s doing for them now and I hope their relationship continues to grow.
And John, thank you for finally realizing you needed to make changes in order to become the dad you have always had the potential to be. Your kids need you and they are doing better now because of the time you’re spending with them.