Today is my son’s 6th birthday. And like every other year, I find myself feeling nostalgic and missing the little baby he once was. I miss the way he smelled after a tubby. And the way his diaper sounded when he crawled across the floor. And I also miss his “Sweet Sweet Boy” when he would snuggle right into our shoulders when we call him that.
But I also know he has to grow up, and while it scares me, just as it does watching his older sister do the same, I’m also excited for them. I can’t wait to see what their futures hold, and I hope the lessons I’m trying to teach them now stick with them and help mold them into the productive members of society I know they can be.
My son is a handful….A BIG HANDFUL! He has ADHD, and as those of you with children who have it know, you have some days where they frustrate you and make you want to cry and make you wonder if you’re a complete failure as a parent. But even when he’s having one his “moments” where he’s climbing the curtains or whining for no reason, I love him to pieces. I look into those big brown eyes and melt. (Him and his sister have a power over me, but please don’t tell them.)
The other day I wasn’t doing so well emotionally. In fact, I’ve been having a really tough time of it in recent months. My son must have picked up on it because right before I was to leave the house to drop them off for the weekend with their grandparents and my ex-husband, he looked at me and said, “You look beautiful today, Mom.” And then he gave me a hug. Those six words made my heart swell and tears come to my eyes. I’m a lucky mom to have such a sweet boy.
I’m not sure if I’ve ever shared my pregnancy stories with all of you, but both of my mine where not easy. With my daughter, I was very sick and had preterm labor and was on bedrest. And when it was time to give birth to her, the cord wrapped around her neck and the doctors had to work quickly to help me get her out. And once she was out, we found out she had had a bowel movement inside me and inhaled her meconium.
With my son, things were worse. At 17 weeks I was told there was a possibility I would have to terminate the pregnancy because it appeared I was leaking amniotic fluid and if I had a complete rupture, my son would not survive because he was not at a viable stage. I was scared beyond belief. I was worried I was going to have say goodbye to him before I ever got the chance to hold him. But the worst case scenario didn’t happen. And the leaking stopped. The morning sickness, however, did not.
At one point they even told me he wasn’t growing right and I had to go in for an ultrasound to have him measured because they were concerned. It turns out I had nothing to worry about, thankfully.
As the months progressed, though, I started having significant pain in my belly and back, and it turned out I was having issues with my kidneys not draining properly. The pain was so intense I thought I was in labor for months. It was constant pain. Nothing I did helped it and my doctors eventually looked at me and said I had two options. I could give birth early to help with the pain or take stronger painkillers so I could allow my son more time in the womb. I made the decision to take the meds because I wanted to make sure when he was born that he was okay and I would be able to take him home with me. But even with the meds, I was still in excruciating pain and I counted down the days to my scheduled induction at 38 weeks. I ended up going into labor two days before and delivered him on September 2, 2007.
My problems with my kidneys are gone…for now. If Chris and I ever decide to have a baby together, there’s a damn good possibility that I will deal with the same kind of issue, but when I look at my son, and the little man he’s become, and how much pride I have him, I know every bit of pain and worry was worth it. And I would do it all over again, as I would with my daughter. They are my miracle babies, and I’m extremely blessed to have them in my life. We all are.
I love you, buddy. And I hope you have a wonderful sixth birthday.
Hugs & kisses,
Mommy