Yep, I said it. I hate cell phones. There are times when they aggravate the Hell out of me.
Cell phones are extremely convenient. I love that when my children aren’t with me, I can text their dad to find out how they are. I love that if my boyfriend misses me he can send a quick text saying “I love you.” I love that my parents can send me a text and me ones to them. I love that my children can contact me when they want. Nothing makes me smile more than a text from one of my kids saying “Hi” or “I love you”.
But it’s those very same conveniences I also hate. And with good reason.
When you use a landline phone, yes, it can ring just as often as a cell phone. However, a cell phone allows you to send text messages. And while texts are great for the reasons I mentioned, they also make it very easy to be interrupted.
My boyfriend and I aren’t like many couples. We don’t get a lot of time together. His work schedule sucks. There’s no sugarcoating that. And I knew what it was like before we became serious. And I’ve accepted that we will never have the time together that many other couples get.
We don’t go away on vacation just the two of us. In fact, we’ve never gone away overnight anywhere in the time we’ve been together. Most of our dates we’ve been on have been dinner dates with one exception: the Rascal Flatts concert we went to. And it’s hard at times to know we can’t do normal couple things. There are many things I want to do with him and experience with him that I can’t.
Since I know this is how our life together is going to be, it’s extremely important to me to make the most of what little time together that we get. And when we have that time, I admit, I don’t like to share his attention, so interruptions are definitely frowned upon.
When we do go out for lunch or dinner, his phone NEVER stops going off. It’s almost nonstop between phone calls and text messages. In the mornings, once my son is off to school, we have forty-five minutes together in the morning to talk while he gets ready for work. During that time, he usually gets between one and three phone calls and at least four to five text messages. This morning was REALLY bad. I even made a snarky comment about how bad it was, and as I said it, his phone went off AGAIN! *eye roll*
When the interruptions are constant, even when we’re trying to have “adult time”, it’s hard for me to resist my impulse to grab his phone and stomp on it. I know I’m not alone. I know there are others out there that complain about the same thing.
My dad, for example, used to complain about how much my mom was on her phone for work, even when she was on vacation. My parents have always been very close and each other’s best friends, so it was hard for him to handle not having her undivided attention. I now understand how frustrating it was for him. And I applaud him for being as understanding as he was and for not smashing her phone when I’m sure he wanted to.
I don’t hide my feelings about this subject from my boyfriend. I voice how it makes me feel when we sit down for dinner and his phone goes off, especially when we have all four children home. That is OUR time as a family. We don’t get a lot of time together with all six of us, so again, it’s extremely important to me to make the most of the time we are blessed with.
One way that I deal with my frustrations is to talk to my boyfriend about them. I think communication is key. I know none of what he does is intentional. I know he hates taking time away from me or our family. I know it’s not something he sets out to do. But I also feel it’s important that he’s aware of how it affects me. Neither one of us want to end up in relationships again where communication doesn’t happen and quality time together does not occur. We both need to be open with our feelings and needs.
Another way that I deal with the phone issue is to put my foot down sometimes and say, “NO MORE!” There are times where I tell him unless it’s involving his kids or mine, no phone calls or text messages. I think it’s important that ALL couples do that once in awhile. Your significant other does need your undivided attention at times. We need to know we’re important. We need to know that we’re valued.
Now that I’ve vented about my frustration with cell phones, and how we tackle the problem, I’m asking all of you who deal with similar issues how you handle it. How do you keep yourself from getting mad?
*Photo courtesy of MorgueFile.