Why I’m a Crappy Parent…It’s a LONG List #notabadmom

If you follow a lot of the mom sites out there, you may have noticed the firestorm surrounding things moms do that make them bad mothers, like vaccinating our children, choosing to get our son’s circumcised, etc. There are many mothers out there that LOVE to criticize other mothers because they think they are the “perfect” parent and are above reproach. Instead of accepting our differences and acknowledging NONE of us are perfect, they nitpick and find ways to degrade us for our parenting choices.

Updated: 7/9/14 – Periodically I feel the need to update this list for several reasons, one being to defend myself against any slanderous info going around about me which is most definitely not true. I want people to get a true picture of what I’m like as a mom.

So, like others, I’ve compiled a list of things that make me a less than a perfect mother and stepmother.

• I used let my kids watch cartoons in the morning before school after they were ready.
• I had my son circumcised.
• I medicated my son in the past for his ADHD. And I wasn’t above bribing him with a piece of candy to get him to take it. And if the time comes when he has to go back on his meds, I won’t hesitate to again.
• I stopped medicating my son for his ADHD because I didn’t like what it did to him. (Mom knows best.)
• When my kids act up and don’t listen, I sometimes yell at them.
• I go down to the bus stop without makeup and in my PJs. (The kids LOVE it.)
• I let my kids play with chickens. Dirty, nasty chickens.
• I let them play in the pig pen at my parent’s house when they have pigs.
• I let them tromp through cow poop. And kick it. Throw it. (I’ve done it myself.)
• I used disposable diapers on both of my children.
• I spent money on special formula for my son as an infant because his tummy couldn’t handle normal formula.
• I fingerwash my kids’ faces. You know spit on the thumb and scrub? I don’t care if they hate it.
• I make our kids do their homework. And I help my stepchildren with theirs too.
• I buy our kids books whenever I can. Knowledge is power after all.
• I allow my kids to not only play in mud but roll around in it. How dare I?
• I sometimes stay up extremely late working because I’m actively involved in my children’s lives.
• When my daughter isn’t looking, I’ve been known to throw live worms at her.
• We limit our children to no more than one soda per day. Usually less.
• I let our kids voice their opinions about what they want for dinner. And gasp…sometimes we listen.
• There have been nights when we’re so tired after a long day that we go out and buy something at a restaurant because we just don’t have the energy to make anything.
• I never breastfed my daughter because I was on anti-depressants and didn’t want her ingesting the medicine through my breast milk.
• I breastfed my son for about two weeks before stopping because I was feeding him every hour and pumping, as well, and couldn’t sleep.
• I let our kids pick out her own clothes and often they don’t match.
• I let our girls wear mismatching socks.
• I let my daughter dress more like a boy because she hates wearing dresses.
• I let my kids wear their underwear on their heads because it’s funny. (And because the pictures I take now can be used to embarrass them when they bring home boyfriends and girlfriends later on.)
• I changed my son’s diet to not include  red dye #40, sugar and caffeine because it exasperates his ADHD. I know my son, even if others don’t.
• I send my ex-husband’s family emails to let them know what my son can and can’t eat so I know he’ll be taken care of the way he should be when I’m not around.
• I also write notes for my ex-husband when he goes on vacation with the kids so he knows what my son can and can’t eat that way I know I did my part.
• There are days I make the kids breakfast and other days the older ones eat donuts.
• I snuggle with my son at night before bed so he has time with his mom.
• I gave my daughter money when she lost one of her teeth, and I made a mistake to not remove the lint from my purse when I did.
• My kids attend public school and ride the bus.
• I let my daughter watch medical shows because she finds them fascinating.
• I’m a bad mom because not only does my daughter have one gun, she has a shot gun and rifle, a BB gun, a slingshot, two airguns and two Swiss Army knives. Oh…and a bow and arrow.
• I’m a bad mom because I dance crazily around the kitchen and sing at the top of my lungs because it embarrasses my kids.
• I sometimes let my kids cry it out at babies.
• My kids co-slept with me when they were little.
• I put my son in a shopping cart at the store and I don’t use a sanitizing wipes.
• I even let Blake, now that he’s older, sit in the back part when the signs say not to.
• There’s always a pile of clean laundry somewhere in my house.
• Our house is never spotless. I clean constantly but I can’t keep up. It’s more important to work and spend time with our children.
• I worked outside of the home for a little while when Mikala was a baby.
• I let our kids play video games…but not violent ones because I think it’s inappropriate for children to. And I’m not afraid to voice my opinion if others let them and I think it’s wrong.
• I slip and swear in front of our kids.
• I let my daughter eat raw cookie dough.
• I let my daughter put up her hair on her own.
• I go without buying new clothes so I can get my kids things they need. They ALWAYS come first.
• I buy our kids clothes from Goodwill.
• If there’s only two cookies left, I give them to my children instead of eating them myself.
• If I’m starving and the kids have already eaten and they want a bite of my food, I share with them even if I could eat the whole thing.
• I let my daughter drink coffee as a treat.
• I don’t have a problem with my daughter going hunting.
• I buy our kids toys when it’s not their birthdays or a holiday.
• I steal my daughter’s books when she’s done reading them.
• I let my son wear hand me downs.
• I buy my kids extra school supplies so they don’t run out during the year.
• I cook our kids dinner every night and make them sit at the table with us.
• I buy dye-free medicines because most contain red dye and my son can’t have it.
• I went to every concert my daughter was in.
• I attend my stepchildren’s sports games, testings and dance recitals.
• I pack my stepchildren meals when they have games and I know they’re going to be hungry…even if it’s a night we don’t have them and they are with their mother.
• I go to school functions with our kids.
• I buy items when they have fundraisers.
• I have volunteered and helped out at school parties and the father-daughter dance.
• I tell our kids I love them every day.
• I give our kids hugs and kisses, even my daughter, who scowls and tries to pull away because she’s embarrassed.
• I make our kids pick up their rooms and put their clothes away.
• I buy things for my stepchildren when they aren’t with us because I want to and not because they need something.
• I wash all the kids’ laundry and fold it.
• I get up at night with all four kids when they’re sick.
• I’m a bad mom because I don’t allow my daughter to have a Facebook account.
• I’m a bad mom because I don’t tolerate my kids bullying anyone and will ground them if I find out they did.
• I encourage my children try new things.
• I support my children’s dreams.
• I stayed with their dad and tried to make the marriage work for years despite of all the crap I had to deal with, even going as far as to sacrifice my own happiness.

These are just a few reasons why I’m a bad mom. I could keep going. But I will say this. Our kids are happy, healthy, independent children who believe in themselves. If they want to try something, they do it. They don’t let fear hold them back. They know they are loved. They know they are cherished. They know I believe in them and will encourage them to chase their dreams. They are open-minded and accepting of others. I think these things show I’m doing something right…at least part of the time.

If you’d like to chime in below on why you’re a bad mom, please feel free to leave a comment. I look forward to reading your answers.