We admit, we, my boyfriend and I, are NOT the most religious people, or Godly, as some like to say. We do not go to church. We do not necessarily belong to one religion. And we don’t preach the word of God to everyone around us. We do, however, try to live our lives in the best way possible. We are not infallible, though. We make mistakes. We are not perfect, and we are in a constant state of change. But there were things my boyfriend and I were taught growing up by our parents that we’re trying to teach our children so they add something important to this world and not detract from it. (And by we, I mean my son and daughter and his son and daughter.)
We ultimately feel that it doesn’t matter what religion, race, sexual orientation, etc., that parents are, we are ALL capable of teaching our children right from wrong and how to be productive and valuable members of our society.
These are some of the lessons we teach our children.
1-Do good deeds for others.
During each of our lives, we have encountered others who have helped us in some way. These people have helped shape us into who we are today.
From the moment of our births we each had parents that loved us and gave of themselves. They taught us many valuable life lessons. They showed us how to love unconditionally, without restraint. They gave us support when we needed it. They were our first role models and the first people to show us that doing good things for others and not expecting anything in return is a good way to live one’s life.
And outside of them, we both can think of people who have aided us, from best friends, to teachers, to co-workers and to perfect strangers. Their acts of kindness have brightened our days and made us smile. And it’s because of these people that have touched our lives that we are teaching our children to do the same. We are teaching them that random acts of kindness not only make someone else feel better, they also make you feel better.
2- Karma exists.
While there are some who would argue against the existence of karma, we feel it is very much a part of this world, and we try to be cognizant of our actions and thoughts because we know it could come back on us. We believe that whatever we put out into the universe, whether it be negative or positive, is returned to us. So, if we do kind things for others, like paying forward good deeds, or do something negative, like lie, cheat, steal etc., it, too, will come back to us in the end.
3- Work hard and don’t expect everything in life to be handed to you on a silver platter.
One of my BIGGEST issues with teenagers today, and even some adults, is their sense of entitlement. They think the world should be handed to them on a silver platter and that they shouldn’t have to work hard for anything in life. That is NOT what I was taught growing up, and that certainly NOT what my boyfriend was taught. Again, we both had parents that worked EXTREMELY hard to support their families. If they wanted something out of life, they worked for it. And that’s EXACTLY what we’ve done and will continue to do.
My boyfriend and I both started working young. I began babysitting for my aunt and uncle when I was about 12 years old, and I’ve been working ever since except for when I got laid off while I was pregnant with my daughter and up until I went to work at a pizza dough production company.
As a child, I knew my parents had it tight moneywise, so it was important to me, and my brother, to make money to purchase our own things so our parents wouldn’t have to. My brother and I bought our own clothes. I bought my own makeup. He bought his own stereo system. We worked hard so we could take some of the burden off of my parents’ shoulders.
As for my boyfriend, he’s been working since he was about 14 years old. And he’s still working very hard today. Yeah, the job he does often requires that he make sacrifices. He isn’t always able to be at games and other school functions, but he tries his hardest. His knows his first priority is to take care of his children, so if that means he misses something in order to make sure they have food in their bellies, clothes on their backs, and a roof over their head, so be it. Parents sometimes have to make sacrifices.
4- Be honest and respectful.
My boyfriend and I are very open with each other and tell each other everything. And I have always tried to be as honest as possible with my children. Although, as we all know, there are times when we tell our children white lies in order to protect them. It’s not because we enjoy telling lies. We do it because we love our children, and we don’t want to see them hurt.
Now I won’t say that I’ve never lied because we all do at some point, especially when we’re teenagers and trying to get away with something. But I’m more aware than ever how much lies and deceit can hurt others, and I don’t want to inflict that kind of hurt on anyone ever again.
As for respect, that is another lesson we were taught growing up. Respect your elders. Those were three words my parents always told me, and we want our children to respect those who are older too.
Respect doesn’t stop at adults, though. We also want them to respect children their own age. That means we DO NOT promote bullying of others. We are NOT okay with our children saying mean, rude and hurtful things about other people. I was bullied in high school, and I am very open about what I went through, and I will NOT hesitate to speak up when I think any of them are saying or doing something that could hurt another person. And my boyfriend won’t hesitate either.
One other form of respect that we teach them is to respect themselves. That was a very hard lesson for me to learn growing up. I didn’t respect myself. I didn’t like myself, and the last thing I want for any of the children, is to be the same way. Whenever my boyfriend’s daughter makes comments about her own weight and how she’s fat, I’m quick to correct her because I don’t want her to have a poor image of herself. I want her to be able to look in the mirror and feel confident and pretty without feeling conceited. There’s a fine line there and we are trying to raise our children to see it.
These are just a few examples of the lesson we are trying to teach. What are some that are important to you?
*Photo courtesy of melodi2.
1 thought on “These Are the Lessons We Teach Our Children”